- Don’t sing in the photocopying room – you never know who will walk in. In fact, don’t sing in the office at all
- Johnson’s Holiday Skin body lotion won’t colour your legs, but it will turn your cuticles orange
- ‘Architected’ (as in ‘having had an architect look at and work on it’) is apparently a word
- I can navigate my way round the Paris metro much better than the Manchester Metrolink, even though Metrolink is much smaller and idiot-proof
- It isn’t that hard to switch off predictive text on my mobile phone, once you know which button it is
- Even if you allow yourself double the time required to make your connection, the London Underground will conspire to make you miss your train
- It has been exactly a month since I had a good hair day
- Cleaning your teeth at the office almost certainly guarantees that you will get toothpaste down your shirt
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